Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

I'm a baker, and I'm feeling crumby about my career choices.

So I was visiting my friend who's a master carpenter, and he showed me his latest woodworking project - a beautiful wooden boat. He spent months crafting every detail, from the hull to the sail. As I was admiring his work, I asked him how he planned to propel it through the water.

He just smiled and said it was a 'shore' thing.

I was driving home today and saw a car pulled over on the side of the road with a flat tire. I felt bad for the driver, it looked like they were really stressed out trying to change it.

I guess they were having a *tire-ing* day.