Alright everyone, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for. I'm about to perform the sacred Thanksgiving duty of carving this magnificent bird...

I just hope I don't *wing* it!

Alright everyone, as I prepare to carve into this magnificent bird...

...just promise me you won't get *fowl*-tempered waiting for your slice!

Alright everyone, as I prepare to carve this magnificent turkey, I just want to remind you...

I'm the *meat-er* of ceremonies around here!

My family's Thanksgiving dinner is the one place where

the only thing we pass around the table more often than the mashed potatoes is criticism.