What did the cranberry sauce say to the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner?

You're a real gobble-degook, but I'm stuck on you.

The biggest mystery at our Thanksgiving dinner isn't how Aunt Martha made that gelatin salad.

It's whether the turkey or my cousin started crying first after someone asked about his career choices.

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the doctor?

It was feeling a little saucy and had a relish for bad health

At our Thanksgiving dinner, we have a tradition where everyone shares what they're grateful for.

But honestly, it's just a competition to see who can come up with the most creative way of saying they're thankful for wine.