I've started to notice that my online shopping habits are being influenced by the 'frequently bought together' section

now I'm convinced I need a scented candle and a romance novel to truly complete my purchase of socks

This dude on Hinge listed his biggest red flag as 'drama queens.'

His entire profile was basically a subtweet manifesto about exes and 'toxic people.'

My morning commute isn't just a drive to work.

It's a high-stakes, character-defining journey, complete with a 'struggle montage' playlist and a wind machine (my car's AC on full blast).

My male friends can leave the house in five minutes flat.

I need five minutes just to locate my 'everyday' purse, which usually contains a rogue earring, three different chapsticks, and the entire emotional baggage of my 20s.