I was running errands yesterday and I decided to give my day a cinematic score

Now every time I'm at the DMV, I'm the heroine of a sci-fi epic, and the hold music is just the sound of my spaceship hovering over the planet Bureaucracy

My main character energy is so potent, that when my Wi-Fi went out this morning...

...I didn't just troubleshoot it. I paced dramatically, stared out the window with a pensive expression, and waited for the inspiring background music to kick in so I could have my 'aha!' moment.

He said he was looking for 'an independent woman' on his dating profile.

And by 'independent,' I think he meant 'a woman who pays for her own drinks, drives herself home, and never asks him to lift a finger around her apartment.'

He put in his profile that he was 'over the drama' and wanted a 'no-fuss, chill' girl.

Then he spent our entire first date explaining why his last four relationships were 'crazy'.