My financial advisor told me I need to be more aggressive with my assets...

...and diversify my portfolio by spreading it around.

My new fitness trainer is really intense. She says the key to a great session is to get really low, push hard against resistance, and focus on those long, deep thrusts for maximum benefit.

Apparently, I'm going to be an amazing competitive rower.

I've been taking classes to improve my thrusting technique, and my instructor says I have a lot of potential for deep development.

I've been dating a woman who's a professional architect, and she's always trying to redesign our relationship.

But honestly, I think she's just trying to build a better orgasm.