What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!

Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

To reach the high notes.

Why did the coffee file a police report?

It got mugged.

My daughter was doing her homework and came to me complaining. She said her pencil wasn't working and she couldn't write anything.

I told her, 'Well, if it's not working, it sounds like it's pointless!'