I decided to become a mushroom farmer

Because I heard it's a fun-gi career

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

My computer was acting up the other day, and I was getting pretty frustrated with how slow it was running. I called my friend who's a computer expert to see if he could help me figure out what was wrong with it.

He told me it was probably just having a bad byte.