Why did the coffee file a police report?

Because it got mugged!

I was at the grocery store this morning, looking for some ingredients for dinner. I needed some mushrooms for the stir-fry, and I spotted a huge pile of them in the produce section.

I thought to myself, 'These look like a lot of fun-guys!'

What did the guitar say to the musician?

Pick on someone your own size!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!