Alright, everyone, the moment of truth has arrived for this magnificent turkey.

I just hope I don't *fowl* up the carving.

Why did the turkey refuse to play cards on Thanksgiving?

Because he heard someone might be stuffing the deck!

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the doctor?

It was feeling a little saucy and had a relish for bad health

As I carve this magnificent bird, I just want to remind everyone at the table...

...there will be absolutely no *fowl* play allowed today!