I've been preparing for this moment all year, and now it's time to carve the turkey.

I guess you could say I'm a cut above the rest when it comes to Thanksgiving dinner!

Why did the turkey refuse to join the school band?

Because he already had drumsticks!

Why did the turkey go to the doctor before Thanksgiving?

It had a fowl cough!

Why did the cranberry sauce go to therapy?

Because it was feeling a little jellied under the pressure!