Why did the stuffing get invited to every party?

Because it was always so well-bread!

Why did the turkey get bad grades in math?

It kept gobbling up all the numbers!

Why did the turkey refuse to play cards on Thanksgiving?

Because he heard someone might be stuffing the deck!

As I carve this magnificent bird, I just want to remind everyone at the table...

...there will be absolutely no *fowl* play allowed today!