I'm addicted to placebos — I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference.

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

So, I went to the library this afternoon, looking for a book on anti-gravity. I spent a long time searching through all the science shelves and even asked the librarian for some help.

But I just couldn't put it down.

I'm having a grape time at the wine tasting, but it's a crushing experience.