In my family, the most competitive event at Thanksgiving isn't football or eating the most pie.

It's seeing who can fall asleep on the couch first after dinner.

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the party?

Because it was a berry good dancer!

Every Thanksgiving, my grandma asks me the same question about my love life.

By dessert, I'm usually considering proposing to the mashed potatoes.

Thanksgiving dinner at my house is like a science experiment

because we're never quite sure what's going to explode first, the turkey or my aunt's opinions