Why did the mummy always use fabric softener?

Because he didn't want any more static cling with his bandages!

Why did the candy go to therapy on Halloween night?

Because it was feeling a little wrapped up in its problems.

Why don't ghosts like candy corn?

They can see right through it!

Why did the Cyclops get bad service at the optician?

He kept demanding a 'second opinion' on his prescription!