I've been reading all these self-help books to improve my mental health

now my apartment is just a pile of unread books and unfulfilled potential

My biggest fear isn't dying.

It's having to pay for the funeral.

I told my therapist I've been struggling to practice self-compassion

So she charged me extra for being mean to myself during the session

My therapist told me to 'do the work' and sit with my uncomfortable feelings.

So I added them to my calendar for next Tuesday at 3 PM, right after laundry.