My biggest fear isn't dying.

It's having to pay for the funeral.

I was having an existential crisis about the future of humanity.

Then I remembered I have a group chat dedicated to complaining about rising gas prices, and suddenly everything felt a little more manageable.

My financial advisor asked me about my long-term investments.

I told him, 'My houseplants. They're the only thing in my life consistently showing growth.'

I've been doing the work in therapy to develop a growth mindset

but so far, the only thing that's grown is my therapist's billable hours