My math teacher said measuring angles was a pleasure, but I think he was just being acute.

So I was at the beach with my kids, and we saw a guy selling shells. He had all sorts of shells, from big conch shells to tiny clam shells. My kid asked him how he managed to collect so many

and he said it was a shell of a job!

I was trying to help your mom put together this new coffee table she bought online. It had a ton of screws and diagrams, and I spent ages trying to figure out which piece went where.

It was a real *table* of contents.

I'm addicted to placebos — I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference.