I love that corporate dress codes are getting more relaxed these days.

It just means I can spend 20 minutes trying to find the *perfect* blazer to make my 'dressed-up' sweatpants look professional.

I tried to streamline my morning routine to get that 'effortlessly chic' vibe.

Now I just spend twice as long making it look like I didn't spend any time at all.

My main character energy is so strong, if I accidentally spill coffee on my shirt...

...I don't just grab a napkin. I freeze, look directly into a non-existent camera, and whisper, 'Is this... my life now?'

I went on a date with a guy who said he's 'really into old movies' and 'loves reading classic literature'

But when I asked him about his favorite book, he said 'uh, The Notebook' and I realized he's been getting his literary credentials from his ex's Netflix queue