My therapist told me I needed to 'be present' and 'live in the moment.'

So now I just aggressively stare at my to-do list, convinced I'm practicing mindfulness.

I've been trying to master the art of 'casual' texting with my crush

but it's hard when you've written and deleted the same 'hey, what's up?' 12 times

I've started using a planner to organize my life, which is just a nice way of saying

I'm paying $20 to write down all the things I'm not going to do

I went on a date with a guy who claimed to be a 'feminist'

but his podcast playlist was just 12 hours of Joe Rogan