Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is a lot like a math problem

You've got too many variables, and somehow everyone ends up feeling divided.

Our family Thanksgiving dinner has two main courses:

Turkey with all the fixings, and unsolicited life advice from every generation.

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the party dressed as a turkey?

Because it was a berry good disguise and a fowl way to get an invite

Why did the turkey refuse to play cards?

He was afraid of getting plucked!