We tried to create a wedding budget, but it kept escaping from us.

I think it's now funding its own spin-off wedding in a different city.

I've noticed that since getting married, our conversations have become very efficient

Now, instead of saying 'I love you', we just say 'WiFi password?' and the other person knows exactly what we mean

We wanted a small, intimate wedding.

Then we tried to trim the guest list and realized our definition of 'immediate family' included second cousins twice removed and everyone we'd ever met in line for coffee.

My wife and I have a flawless system for deciding what to watch on TV.

I suggest five shows, she vetoes them all, and then we watch whatever she was already planning to watch.