They say love is all you need, but I think marriage is more like a DIY project from a flat-pack furniture store.

You start with enthusiasm, follow vague instructions, argue over which part goes where, and eventually, you end up with something beautiful... and maybe a few extra pieces you're not sure about.

I've been thinking, marriage is like a GPS navigation system

because it starts out saying 'recalculating your life' and eventually just says 'arriving at your destination, love you, turn left'

Our wedding planner told us to brace ourselves for a few 'unforeseen costs'.

I think 'unforeseen costs' is just Latin for 'everything your mother-in-law wants'.

They say marriage is like a TV remote control.

In the beginning, you're both fighting for who gets to hold it. After a few years, you're fighting over who *has* to get up and find it.