Why did the cranberry sauce go to the party dressed as a turkey?

Because it was a berry good disguise and a fowl way to get an invite

I told the turkey to come to the table with an attitude adjustment

but it was a little fowl-tempered

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is a lot like a math problem

You've got too many variables, and somehow everyone ends up feeling divided.

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner is the one time of year

where we all gather to eat, argue, and remember why we don't live together