I asked my dad to make a bucket list for Father's Day

and it was just a list of all the things he wants to fix around the house before he dies

I asked my dad what he's looking forward to most as he gets older on Father's Day, and he smiled

He said, 'being called grandpa, because that's the only time I'll be able to give advice without being asked for it.'

I asked my dad what he wanted for Father's Day, and he said something to warm my heart

So I turned up the thermostat, now he's ecstatic and our energy bill is through the roof

My dad says his garage isn't messy; it's a carefully curated archaeological dig site.

He knows exactly where the chisel from '87 is, but can't find his car keys from five minutes ago.