The biggest mystery at our Thanksgiving dinner isn't how Aunt Martha made that gelatin salad.

It's whether the turkey or my cousin started crying first after someone asked about his career choices.

I told my wife we should start a new tradition at Thanksgiving

But she just gobbled up the idea

Thanksgiving dinner at my house is a real test of endurance

because we don't just eat until we're full, we eat until we're separated by paramedics

What did the cranberry sauce say to the turkey at Thanksgiving dinner?

You're a real gobble-degook, but I'm stuck on you.