Alright everyone, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for. I'm about to perform the sacred Thanksgiving duty of carving this magnificent bird...

I just hope I don't *wing* it!

In my family, we don't have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner

We just have a bunch of dishes that our relatives argued about making, and a turkey that's just relieved to be the one thing we all agree on

Every Thanksgiving, my family plays a game called 'Catch Up.'

Except it's less about old times and more about catching me in the crosshairs of personal life questions.

Before I carve into this beautiful bird, I considered telling a joke about undercooked turkey...

...but I decided it wasn't quite *done* yet.