Alright everyone, as I get ready to carve this magnificent turkey...

...I just want to warn you all that I'm about to make some *cutting remarks*.

Why did the stuffing go to therapy?

Because it was feeling crumby

Why did the turkey refuse to join the school band?

Because he already had drumsticks!

Thanksgiving at our house is always a test of endurance.

First, you survive the family gossip, then you survive the tryptophan.