Why did the cranberry sauce always win at cards?

Because it had a great jelly roll!

My family always begins Thanksgiving dinner with a moment of silent gratitude.

It's usually followed by a not-so-silent debate about who's grateful enough to do the dishes.

Why did the turkey refuse to get dressed for Thanksgiving dinner?

It said it was already stuffed!

Why did the turkey refuse to play cards?

He was afraid of getting plucked!