Our CEO sent a company-wide email saying we should all be grateful to be working 60-hour weeks

because 'burnout is just a state of mind'

Our CEO said we're a family here, so

I'm waiting for my vacation days to be paid in hugs and apologies for making me work on Thanksgiving.

I'm at the point where I'm considering a 30-year mortgage

which is also the expected lifespan of my avocado toast-fueled liver

I've been reading about the benefits of having a 5-year plan

but my rent is month-to-month, so that's about as far as I'm thinking