Why did Santa get a gym membership?

He wanted to work on his ho-ho-hos.

Why did Santa's elves go to the North Pole's IT department?

They needed to update their sleigh-ware

Why did the elves have a brainstorming session?

They wanted to toy with some new ideas.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on at the holiday party?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine and said it was having a crush-ing Christmas.