Why did the turkey join the band?

Because he was a drumstick!

Our family Thanksgiving dinner is the one time of year where we all come together

and silently judge each other's life choices over a plate of dry turkey

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the party?

Because it was a berry good dancer!

Alright everyone, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for. I'm about to perform the sacred Thanksgiving duty of carving this magnificent bird...

I just hope I don't *wing* it!