Our family Thanksgiving dinner has two main courses:

Turkey with all the fixings, and unsolicited life advice from every generation.

Why did the cranberry sauce get a gold medal?

Because it always had a great finish!

Our family's Thanksgiving dinner seating chart isn't about politeness or proximity to the food.

It's a strategic battlefield plan to minimize exposure to Uncle Steve's political theories and Aunt Carol's 'When are you getting married?' interrogation.

Alright, everyone, the moment of truth has arrived for this magnificent turkey.

I just hope I don't *fowl* up the carving.