My family's Thanksgiving isn't just a holiday meal.

It's an annual performance review of everyone's life choices, followed by pie.

Why did the turkey get into so much trouble at school?

Because it was always involved in fowl play!

Why did the turkey get kicked off the football team?

Because it kept *fowl*ing up the plays!

Alright everyone, the star of the show has arrived! Now, if I can just get this carving knife to cooperate...

...we'll have this bird *dis-jointed* in no time!