I told my girlfriend I was thinking of taking up a new instrument.

She said, 'Why? You already have one, and you barely know how to play it yet.'

Why did the man get fired from the sperm bank?

He kept eating the samples.

My girlfriend told me she loves foreplay.

I told her, 'Great, because I usually need about an hour and a half just to get my socks off.'

I've been trying to improve my relationships by taking a wine and paint class

Now I'm better at handling brushstrokes, but still struggling to find a good blend