I've been trying to learn how to say no without apologizing,

but so far I've only mastered saying 'I'm so sorry, no' without apologizing for the apology.

I went on a date with a guy who said he was 'really into photography'

His camera roll was 90% selfies and 10% poorly lit meals

I was at the grocery store, dramatically monologuing to myself about the meaning of life in the cereal aisle

when I realized I was just trying to decide between Corn Flakes and Rice Krispies

I spent an entire evening at a wedding trying to look graceful in a pair of stunning new heels.

By the time the dance floor opened, I'd already calculated the fastest route to the emergency exits if these things caused a permanent foot injury.