My wife and I have been married for ten years, and we've finally figured out who's responsible for what.

Turns out, we both think the other person is responsible for changing the toilet paper roll.

I've learned that the key to a happy marriage is

separate bathrooms and a strong WiFi signal

I've known the groom for many years, and I've seen him prepare for many challenges, but nothing could have prepared him for marriage.

But in all fairness, I think the only thing he's more committed to than the bride is his fantasy football league.

We wanted a small, intimate wedding.

Then we tried to trim the guest list and realized our definition of 'immediate family' included second cousins twice removed and everyone we'd ever met in line for coffee.