My coffee order was wrong this morning.

And I didn't just ask for it to be remade. I gave the barista a slow, dramatic stare, as if this minor inconvenience was the inciting incident for my entire origin story.

I went on a date with a guy who claimed to be a 'feminist'

but his podcast playlist was just 12 hours of Joe Rogan

When I'm having a bad day, I don't just mope around.

I find the nearest window, gaze out pensively at nothing, and patiently wait for the rain to start, because every great character arc needs a 'staring out the window while it rains' scene.

I finally found a dress with actual, functional pockets yesterday.

I almost didn't buy it, because I wasn't sure I was ready for that level of commitment to practicality. My phone usually just lives in my bra.