Alright everyone, it's time for the main event! As I carve this magnificent turkey, I just hope my knife work doesn't lead to any...

...fowl play.

Why does this magnificent turkey have such an incredible pull on everyone at the table?

Because it has amazing *gravy-ty*!

Why did the cranberry sauce feel embarrassed?

Because it saw the turkey dressing!

Why did the stuffing get promoted at work?

Because it was great at filling important roles!