Why was the Thanksgiving meal always so well-respected?

Because it had so much gravy-tas.

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the party?

Because it was a berry good dancer!

Alright everyone, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for. I'm about to perform the sacred Thanksgiving duty of carving this magnificent bird...

I just hope I don't *wing* it!

Why did the cranberry sauce go to the doctor?

It was feeling a little saucy and had a relish for bad health