My 'main character energy' is so strong, I don't just 'run errands.'

I'm performing a meticulously choreographed montage of purposeful strides set to an empowering indie soundtrack, culminating in me dramatically slamming my trunk closed and driving off into the sunset, even if it's 2 PM and I'm just going home with paper towels.

My main character energy is so potent, that when my Wi-Fi went out this morning...

...I didn't just troubleshoot it. I paced dramatically, stared out the window with a pensive expression, and waited for the inspiring background music to kick in so I could have my 'aha!' moment.

I saw this influencer talking about her 'simple, five-minute morning routine' for glowing skin and inner peace.

Mine involves hitting snooze seven times, staring blankly at the ceiling for two, and then frantically trying to remember where I left my coffee mug.

I've started using a meditation app to help me relax before bed

Now I'm just competitive about how well I can relax, and I'm pretty sure that defeats the purpose