My morning coffee isn't just a caffeine fix.

It's a carefully curated montage scene, complete with a soulful indie soundtrack and me staring pensively out the window, probably about to write a groundbreaking novel or crack a cold case.

I've started using a mindfulness app to help me stay focused throughout the day

Now I'm just mindfully aware of how much I'm procrastinating

My phone just prompted me to 'Clear tabs and free up space.'

And I thought, 'Honey, if you could see the tabs open in my *brain* right now, you'd just give up and restart.'

I lost my keys this morning and was running frantically late.

But instead of panicking, I just stood perfectly still, closed my eyes, and waited for the slow-motion flashback to reveal where I'd left them. It worked, almost too well.