My girlfriend told me she wanted to experiment with something new in bed. She said, 'Let's try anal.'

I said, 'Honey, I've been trying that for years. It's called marriage.'

My girlfriend told me she wanted to 'get to the bottom of things' in our relationship.

So I spent the entire night perfecting my rim job technique.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional sausage maker, and she's always trying to get me to help her stuff the casing.

I've been dating a girl who's a professional mirroring coach, and she's always trying to get me to reflect on our relationship.

But honestly, it's just a lot of self-reflection and I'm not sure I'm ready to face myself in the morning.