Why did the man bring a ladder on his second date?

He wanted to take things to the next level.

My boss told me I need to stop coming up short on my deadlines.

I told him, 'At least I'm not the one coming early.'

My girlfriend told me she wanted me to be more spontaneous in bed.

So I just started shouting 'SURPRISE!' every time I came.

I've been taking sailing lessons from a beautiful instructor, and she's been teaching me how to navigate through tight spots, avoid getting tangled up, and make the most of every stroke.

Now I'm hooked on her techniques.