☕ Girl Tea Joke
Relatable QueenMonday, May 18, 2026
My date was running 15 minutes late, which was actually perfect, because it gave me just enough time...
...to frantically clear the pile of 'clothes I tried on and rejected' from my bed and shove the three empty La Croix cans into the recycling bin, so my apartment looked effortlessly tidy instead of a pre-date war zone.
More Girl Tea Jokes
I've started to think that my wardrobe is 90% clothes I've kept because they still have the tags on
and 10% clothes I've actually worn, but I'm holding onto the tags as proof that I didn't just buy them to impress myself
He posted on Instagram about 'embracing solitude' and 'finding peace in his own company.'
Then I scrolled down and saw he’d tagged three different photographers in the last week.
I'm at the point where I'm treating every minor setback like it's a dramatic plot twist
I just spilled coffee on my shirt and I'm pretty sure I heard a lone violin playing in the background
I saw this influencer talking about her 'simple, five-minute morning routine' for glowing skin and inner peace.
Mine involves hitting snooze seven times, staring blankly at the ceiling for two, and then frantically trying to remember where I left my coffee mug.
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