I've figured out the secret to looking like a woman who has her life completely together.

It's owning one really good blazer and mastering the art of expertly hiding all your tiny existential crises underneath it.

I was making my mental grocery list the other day, and realized it wasn't just 'milk and bread' anymore.

It was 'milk, bread, remember to ask about Sarah's cat, email the dry cleaner, find a baby shower gift for Jen, and somehow also fix the entire global economy before noon.'

I went on a date with a guy who said he was 'really into personal growth' and 'loves self-improvement books'

But his favorite author was his ex's therapist

I was getting ready for my big presentation, feeling like the star of my own corporate drama...

...when a single button popped off my blazer. I didn't just pick it up. I knelt down, picked it up like a fallen relic, gazed out the window, and whispered, 'The first crack in the facade. So it begins.'