I was at the grocery store, and as I reached for the last loaf of bread, I felt a surge of drama

So I monologued to the entire aisle, 'It's not just a loaf of bread, it's a symbol of hope in a world that's always trying to toast us'

He told me he was an 'alpha male' who 'takes charge' and 'knows what he wants.'

Then spent ten minutes asking his phone what the weather was like tomorrow.

My car made a weird noise this morning, and I immediately knew I needed to get it looked at.

But before I could even *think* about calling the mechanic, I had to Google 'weird car noises women need to know about,' then 'how to sound like I know what I'm talking about to a mechanic,' and finally 'what to wear so they don't try to upsell me on blinker fluid.'

My phone just prompted me to 'Clear tabs and free up space.'

And I thought, 'Honey, if you could see the tabs open in my *brain* right now, you'd just give up and restart.'