I asked my parents for housing advice, and they said to just 'save up' and 'be patient'

which is easy to say when your mortgage is paid off and avocado toast was 50 cents

My therapist said I need to 'regulate my nervous system.'

My nervous system said, 'Just one more TikTok.'

I just got a raise, but it's all going to inflation

so basically I'm just getting paid in nostalgia for the prices of 2019

My doctor asked me about my long-term health plan.

I told him, 'Well, if things don't pick up, I'm just researching the best prices for my organs.'