Why did the stuffing get a promotion?

Because it was always *filling* its potential!

My uncle takes his role as the Thanksgiving turkey carver very seriously.

He calls it 'deconstructing poultry,' we call it 'making confetti'.

I've been thinking, why did the turkey go to the doctor?

It had a little fowl cough!

Why does this magnificent turkey have such an incredible pull on everyone at the table?

Because it has amazing *gravy-ty*!