Why did the turkey refuse to join the school band?

Because he already had drumsticks!

What do you call a nervous turkey on Thanksgiving?

A poultry-geist!

Alright everyone, it's time for the moment you've all been waiting for. I'm about to perform the sacred Thanksgiving duty of carving this magnificent bird...

I just hope I don't *wing* it!

Alright, everyone, the moment of truth has arrived for this magnificent turkey.

I just hope I don't *fowl* up the carving.