What's the real 'Polar Express' for most parents on Christmas morning?

The express trip from their bed to the coffee maker.

Why did Frosty the Snowman have kids

Because he wanted a family that was chill

Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor?

It was feeling a little knotty and wanted to get to the root of the problem!

Why did Santa get an assistant?

He was tired of claus-trophobia in his office.